Letters from the Dearly Departed

Jun 12 2011
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before my James became my “ex” he talked alot about having a baby and how much he wanted one. But he was in Florida and I was in Savannah finishing up school. I wanted a baby with him so much, but never got the chance to tell him just how much. I was so excited and happy for my future with him. I had a horrible child hood and I saw James and a family with him as a beautiful dream that was to be mine. Finally I would have a happily ever after. I had so much excitement and joy in me. I had…HOPE. for the first time in years I had hope. 
Feburay we made plans to see each other in Orlando (mega-con). never happened. Two weeks after making the plans he left me. Turns out he was cheating on me, thats why he wouldn’t talk to me on valentines day. March 2, I will never forget. I was with him nearly two years, he left me for someone he had been seeing less then a month.  What really broke me, was that the girl he left me for already had a one year old baby. He blocked me from his facebook page when he changed his relationship status (thats right, two years and he never called to explain, never said goodbye, he let FB do it all for him), but not before changing his profile pic to him hold the bady and smiling…………………..I fell to the floor and cried when I found out, I couldn’t lift my self up, in a way, i’m still emotionally laying on that floor crying out alone in an empty room. I never went back to his FB page.  amoung other feelings, I felt Barren, I still feel that way.  I can’t be in a room with a baby for a long period of time with out getting severely depressed.  its one of the main reasons, I fell into depression and it has brought on a lot of bad suicidal thoughts, a lot. I lost hope…
I feel Barren

http://fav.me/d3g8qul

before my James became my “ex” he talked alot about having a baby and how much he wanted one. But he was in Florida and I was in Savannah finishing up school. I wanted a baby with him so much, but never got the chance to tell him just how much. I was so excited and happy for my future with him. I had a horrible child hood and I saw James and a family with him as a beautiful dream that was to be mine. Finally I would have a happily ever after. I had so much excitement and joy in me. I had…HOPE. for the first time in years I had hope. 

Feburay we made plans to see each other in Orlando (mega-con). never happened. Two weeks after making the plans he left me. Turns out he was cheating on me, thats why he wouldn’t talk to me on valentines day. March 2, I will never forget. I was with him nearly two years, he left me for someone he had been seeing less then a month.  What really broke me, was that the girl he left me for already had a one year old baby. He blocked me from his facebook page when he changed his relationship status (thats right, two years and he never called to explain, never said goodbye, he let FB do it all for him), but not before changing his profile pic to him hold the bady and smiling…………………..I fell to the floor and cried when I found out, I couldn’t lift my self up, in a way, i’m still emotionally laying on that floor crying out alone in an empty room. I never went back to his FB page.  amoung other feelings, I felt Barren, I still feel that way.  I can’t be in a room with a baby for a long period of time with out getting severely depressed.  its one of the main reasons, I fell into depression and it has brought on a lot of bad suicidal thoughts, a lot. I lost hope…

I feel Barren

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